The List
by MarzSpy
Summary: The last time Sakura took up Ino's drinking challenge to commemorate her integration into ANBU, she snagged a date with Uchiha Itachi. The first time, celebrating a successful year at Mikoto's, something entirely different happened. "I propose we play a game." "What kind of game, Ino?" Prequel to The Penis Game. Crack [Hin x Naru] [Ten x Neji]
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! For any of you new readers, this is a prequel to my 3-shot The Penis Game. For those of you who haven't I suggest you check it out now.**

 **I was going to make this a one to two chapter prequel, but I figure you guys really enjoyed the previous fic that I may extent this out to be comprised of several smaller chapters than what I'm used to writing. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it.**

 **Without further ado,**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters in any way, shape, or form.**

 _Title: The List_

 _Setting: Mikoto's Christmas Party_

 _Humor / Crack_

 _Summary: The last time Sakura took up Ino's drinking challenge to commemorate her integration into ANBU, she snagged a date with Uchiha Itachi. The first time, celebrating a successful year at Mikoto's, something entirely different happened. "I propose we play a game." "What kind of game, Ino?" Prequel to The Penis Game._

* * *

 **Chapter 1:**

It was that time of the year again: Mikoto's annual Christmas party -not at all a typical, secret-santa sort of party (she reserved that for only family and close friends), bur rather a party to simply celebrate another successful year. To mourn those who could not make it, but celebrate all that had made it another year, and not to mention to celebrate all that they stood for. Furthermore, and perhaps most importantly, it was simply an excuse for everyone to get absolutely wasted, as was already becoming the case for shinobi like Tsunade or Jiraiya.

But Sakura and her group of friends (Team Gai included) were not having as fun a time as most.

Ino had come here solely to party -Sakura had come solely out of a courtesy to the woman who had become a second (or third, if you count Tsunade) mother to her, and of course to make sure Ino didn't do anything she'd regret in the morning (then again, her pig of a friend seemed unrepentant of anything she did). Hinata had come simply because her team had (and because Naruto would be there), and TenTen had come to make sure Lee did not become too drunk and decimate half of the Uchiha estate.

Given the fact that none of the girls except for Ino were truly big on drinking, it had set up a sluggish atmosphere around them. Plus, it probably didn't help that the men were essentially huddled up at a different table, talking about men stuff which none of them cared to part-take in. Unfortunately, they were simply at that age were their hormones ran rampant and did as it pleased.

It seemed only Ino liked to take advantage of this, but whatever.

"Come on, you guys are no fun." Ino sat, slumped against the table with a bitter frown on her face. "Can one of you at least dance with me?" she suggested, a pout on her lips to try and convince her friends to liven up.

"Ino, that is not dancing." Sakura frowned in distaste, her eyes roaming the crowds. "That is dry-humping to the beat of music." she spoke matter-of-factly, content in sitting there and taking sips of her non-alcoholic beverage for the rest of the night.

"But that's what makes it so much _fun!"_ Ino proclaimed with a frown. Sakura gave her a pointed look but did not respond, her attention elsewhere. "My Kami at least put that book away and make it _seem_ like you're having a fun time." Ino glowered. "In recent times, it seems all you do is study and work. You look like a grandma -who is ever going to want to date that?"

"Well if I'm planning on taking the ANBU Exams soon, I need to make sure I'm prepared." Sakura frowned, clearly upset that Ino would even call her out on in. Truth be told, ever since she had gotten her recommendation letter from not just Tsunade, but Kakashi and Gai as well, she had become exceedingly more confident about it; of course, there was still much for her to study, and if she wanted to pass it on the first try then she had to study now. These exams only came twice a year, after all. But despite all this, Ino had successfully accomplished in making her feel self-conscious (because, come on, who does read at a party?). With a sigh, she put her book down and stared at Ino, then to Hinata and TenTen, who were both staring at the group of males across the room curiously.

"What do you suppose they're talking about?" TenTen sighed bitterly, her eyes on a particular male Hyuga.

"Truth be told?" Ino raised an eyebrow, "Probably which one of them will score tonight and with who. Kami knows there's a whole bunch of willing women in the crowd." It was the only reason they could have possibly attended, other than the free alcohol and food (other than the fact that Sasuke's own mother was the host, so it was mandatory attendance for him).

"Please. If Sasuke scores I will personally be your servant for life Ino-pig." Sakura scoffed. But regardless, she knew Ino was perhaps not far from the truth; this had been why they had separated themselves from the girls after about half an hour after their arrival. Pfft -men. "Why is it alright for them to be scouting girls but anytime I even consider dating someone Naruto and Sasuke shut it down like Sakura and men are an unnatural sight to be together?" she decided with a frown. She was sure perhaps the "Scoring" would only be done by a selective few in the group -namely Kiba and perhaps Shikamaru if he didn't find it too troublesome, but as far as their other teammates went... Well, Sasuke was Sasuke, enough said there, Naruto was perhaps more interested in having Sakura notice home more than anything else, same went for Lee, and Chouji would be too preoccupied eating to pay any mind to a female. Sai was too emotionally constipated, and the Hyuga was a mixture of that ad too divested in protecting Hinata to allow anyone else into his life.

Ino laughed -more like snorted. "Please, you're not the only one. Remember that one time Shikamaru interrogated that guy who I wasn't even serious about?"

"D-Didn't he go home crying?" Hinata's eyes widened alarmingly re-calling the event with apprehension. She didn't know much about the event, having not actually been there, but she had heard from word of mouth from TenTen. Ino had only been on one date prior to that one with the lad, nothing remotely serious, but once Shikamaru caught one whiff of it (he had been away on a mission the first date), he had completely interrupted their date, made himself welcome, and continued to bombard him with questions until he finally remembered he had forgotten to turn off the lights at his house.

Needless to say, Ino had never seen or heard of the nin again -which was odd, because Konoha was a relatively small, close-knit village, which meant that he was taking extra precautions in making sure he was never around her.

Ino sighed, not really upset about the whole thing now, although she had been really frustrated with Shikamaru for weeks afterwards. "Hai. As is life with a prodigal genius as a protective brother-like figure, I suppose." the blonde shrugged.

"Okay, but at least you can get that far." TenTen snorted. "People don't even consider asking me out simply because _Lee's_ there. They think I'm part of the freak show too, and if that wasn't bad enough Neji's always there staring at them with those creepy Byakugan eyes. Stupid Hyuga prodigy."

"Okay but why does it matter if you have an undying crush on Neji anyway?" Sakura stated matter-of-factly. "Even if you had the chance to date someone you wouldn't take it." Sakura reasoned.

Heat rose to her cheeks almost immediately. "Because my undying crush on that idiot will be nothing more than a crush til the end time." TenTen stressed. "I wouldn't be surprised if Neji practiced celibacy for the rest of his life." she stated honestly. The only things that he ever cares about are training and protecting "Hinata-sama" after all, not that TenTen would ever be resentful of her friend.

Sakura snorted -Hinata giggled. "I-It can't be any worse t-than my situation." Hinata finally stated, trying to make her companion feel better.

The remaining three kunoichi rolled their eyes and made it a point to glare in Naruto's direction, who was too busy conversing with Kiba to notice (although he did feel a strange shiver run up his spine). Unfortunately, her situation seemed to only be worse because Naruto had an undying love for Sakura -of which Sakura knew he would eventually grow out of, but my Kami it was taking too damn long already. What more could she possibly do to get him to understand?

It was then that Ino finally spoke once more, and indignant huff pouting her lips. "Ladies, we're young, hot kunoichi. Why are we wallowing in pity? Why don't we go out there and seize the day by its balls? Who cares what the men think or how we feel about them. We're withering away here because of them and their inability to make some moved on us." Of course by we, Ino meant everybody but her. Despite how desperate she was to have a chance at scoring with Sai, she would not wait around like a damsel until he noticed her. Kami knew that boy still had a lot of emotional growing to do before he could even consider being attracted to the opposite sex, after all. She guessed she would just have to move on.

No. She was young, she was hot, and god damn it, she wanted to have fun -Kami knew parties where all of her friends (and all of the hot older shinobi) attended were few and far in between, due to everyone's conflicting schedules and grueling missions. And now they were all starting to grow up in their own respects, which meant there would be even less time for them all to hang out. So if she wanted to have fun with her female companions, and even get a little raunchy, well god damn it, she had ever right to.

But in response, Sakura could only cringe. "Why must you use such grotesque vocabulary? And why is the day metaphorically described as an anatomical male?"

"Oh my Kami Sakura, are you really about to start this line of questioning? What are you, a grandma?" Ino gave her a pointed look, to which Sakura merely scoffed. "What you should be asking here is the more pertinent question? As in, what should we do?" Ino raised her eyebrows provocatively, in order to coax not just Sakura (although she knew the Billboard Brow would be the hardest one to convince), but Hinata and TenTen as well.

Sakura scoffed. "Alright Pig, humor me. What do you want to do?" And then, as an added afterthought, she decided to clip in quickly, "although this is not me saying I'll go along with anything you want." Kami knew she had to clarify that or she'd never hear the end of it with Ino.

Ino frowned, before turning to stare at their other female companions. "Well, how about if I can convince Hinata and TenTen to join us? Surely if the love-stricken fools will join us in our drunken bafoonary, you have no right to decline, right?"

"D-Drunken?" Hinata question in trepidation (nevermind the fact that she was an heiress from a respected clan, and as such "bafoonaries" was hardly on her agenda either). Kami knew she couldn't hold her liquor -in fact, she was keenly aware of the fact that neither could Sakura, while Ino had built up a pretty good tolerance, and TenTen was mildly capable of holding her own.

Ino brushed Hinata's apprehension aside. "Don't sweat the minor details, Hinata. Are we in or are we out?"

"It depends." TenTen frowned. Truth be told, Ino was unmistakably, one hundred percent right. Why should they sit here, sighing and frowning because neither Naruto nor Neji respectively would give them the time of day? Why would they limit themselves to men that were clearly incapable of noticing that they would be willing to do anything and everything for them? "Does anything that you have planned for us involve sleeping with somebody?" For once, she decided, she would want to be a little more like Ino in regards to love.

Ino chuckled. "Not unless you want to, of course. Why, do you already have somebody in mind?" she winked provocatively at TenTen, who merely blushed in response.

"Cut it out you grotesque pig." Sakura scowled. "I'll go along with your ploy until I deem you too drunk to continue making objective decisions with your body. Then I will take you home and call it a night." she declared seriously.

Ino grinned, pleased with the development. So long as she got a little bit of alcohol in Sakura's system (of which she knew she could do with a little big of egging on from Tsunade), then even Sakura's reservations would be thrown out the window; plus, it didn't hurt to know that Sakura got drunk faster than she did. "I propose we play a game."

"What kind of game, Ino?" Sakura's eyes narrowed in forewarning. Why did she feel like Ino's supposed "game" was more so a disaster waiting to happen than anything else?

Knowing that Sakura had gone in for the bait, she used her hand to pull something out of her purse. "I came prepared." she snickered with delight, unfolding a piece of paper and laying it out in front of her, and the remaining three girls scooted in closer to see what it was. At first glance it seemed like a to-do list, but once Sakura actually began to read it her eyebrows knitted in confusion and disdain.

"Oh absolutely _not."_

"Uh-uh." Ino tsked at her pink-haired companion. "You already have the go-head. You have to _at least_ give it a shot, you promised."

"Yeah, if TenTen and Hinata are down," Sakura spoke indignantly. "Which I know for a fact they will n-"

"I'm okay with this." TenTen stated with only slight hesitancy, her eyes reading over the list; some things genuinely funny, others a little more on the raunchy side, but she was sure it made for a fun experience nonetheless. "We can refuse to do these as they come, right?"

"Yeah, absolutely." Ino nodded, quite eagerly appeasing TenTen. "It's a point-based system. Of course, losers receive a punishment based on the winner's choice."

"This already has disaster written all over it." Sakura looked over the contents of the paper, oh-so innocently titled _The List,_ although what it entailed was anything but an average check list or to-do errands. "Hinata, there's no way-" she couldn't even finish her sentence. She didn't need to, because Hinata's cheeks were already flushed red simply by reading a miscellaneous number on the list.

"I-I-I don't t-think I could m-m-manage these..."

But it seemed that Ino had already planned ahead for coaxing Hinata, putting a small arm around the beautiful raven-haired kunoichi. "Hinata, aren't you tired of waiting for Naruto to give you the time of day? Wouldn't you rather _make him_ notice you? I guarantee you you'll capture his attention with any one of the items on this list. Plus, it's all for good fun. It's just a game among us girls, and it'll be the perfect activity to kill time."

Hinata hesitated for a long time. "W-What are the rules?"

Ino grinned, from ear to ear, especially in seeing Sakura slump into her seat. "Well-"

It was simple, really. There were twenty one rounds in total, and after every third round there was a mandatory shot of sake (or other miscellaneous drink) to down, with a mandatory shot before the game started. Each round had a given objective -whether truth or dare. You could choose to do it and get the points, or choose to not and get nothing. At the end of the game, each player counts their points and the winner gets to leave a punishment for every loser.

A game which would succeed in making them all drunk, make them regret their actions in the morning, but be entirely fun while doing so all in one. Sakura noticed with much disdain that, although it didn't start off too bad, the truths (and perhaps more pertinently, the dares) got progressively worse as the rounds continued but she decided she didn't even want to read past number five.

What in the hell had she gotten herself into?

"Alright, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Ino grinned in glee as she stood with confidence. "I'll go get us a bottle of sake for our first shot." And then she sauntered off, paying to mind to her other three female counterparts as they exchanged hesitant looks. Ino had returned relatively quickly, and after placing a cup in front of each girl and pouring some sake, she put the sake bottle down and grabbed her own small cup. "Alright, here we go. Cheers." she raised her glass, and although Sakura and Hinata were clearly hesitant on continuing this, they too raised their glasses. The four cups clinked together, and no sooner were they downing the burning liquid down their throat.

 _'Kuso, that's strong.'_ Sakura grimaced, but had no time to ponder it, trying to blink away the tears.

"Let's get this show on the road!" The girls subsequently turned to peer at number one on the list. "We'll start it off easy with a simply truth, it seems." Ino stated. Truth be told, despite how excited she was, she had never played this game before -she had gotten the list from Anko (of course, a slightly redacted version, for Anko had claimed Ino was still not up to her standards), who had stated it made for a great game during a party -with or without the male party, it didn't quite matter.

Sakura groaned at the question.

 _1\. Truth - Have you ever had any sexual fantasies about anyone? If so, who and how many times? 1 Point._

 **End of Chapter**

 **So like I said, this will be shorter than what I'm used to writing, primarily because this is mostly a crack-fic to kind of explain and set up the plot for The Penis Game**

 **As far as the items on the list, I think I'll probably do one or two per chapter to add length x) Because these chapters will be short, I think updates for this fic will be a lot quicker than my other projects.**

 **Also, if there's any sort of scenario you guys may be itching to read, don't be afraid to drop a review or PM me =] I have most of the 21 things already planned, although I did leave a few spots open in case any of you had any input for it c:**

 **Anyway, that's all for now. Just wanted to write up some crack and humor to replace most of the drama/angst I've been writing up in Sakura's New Present, the TNO sequels and Somewhere We Belong respectively x)**

 **Any and all feedback is much appreciated!**

 **-MarzSpy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my lovely readers c: Here with the next chapter, hope you all haven't been waiting for long x)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters in any way, shape, or form.**

 **Chapter 2:**

 _Have you had any wild fantasies about anyone? If so, who and how many times? 1 Point_

The question had hung in the air for nearly thirty seconds as three out of the four girls around them let it sink in -Ino merely grinned, pleased with their reactions. This game was going to be _so_ fun, she couldn't help but think. "So who'd like to go first?" She stared at her friends one by one -Hinata with a heated blush on her face, TenTen looking around, a funny expression on her features, and Sakura just down right scowling. "Oh come on, if you guys wuss out on this first one none of you will make it past the third round." And considering there were twenty one, that was pretty ridiculous.

"You know what, you wanted to play this game so badly. You start." Sakura proclaimed, her eyebrows still furrowed.

"Fine, if it would make you guys feel better." she shrugged. "Easiest point of my life," she added as emphasis, to perhaps gloat that her friends were childish, before she began. "Let's see, where do I begin my list? Sasuke probably caught my eye first, although that was to be expected given how attractive he is." Ino shrugged. "Sometime after that my eyes wandered to Kakashi-"

"You had fantasies about my sensei?!" Sakura proclaimed with a small, disgusted frown on her face.

"It was only a couple times Sakura, pipe down, have you seen the man?" Ino asked, incredulous that she would even ask that. "You can't tell me you haven't wondered what's behind the mask." At this comment, Sakura suddenly grew a ferocious blush, which had left Ino smirking in satisfaction. "Shall I continue my list, or what? I can stop here if you'd like." TenTen and Hinata had wordlessly nodded, allowing Ino to continue, albeit hesitantly (had she also had fantasies about their teammates?). "From there Kiba, and of course Sai, and somewhere along the line Genma...-"

"Okay, that's enough, we get it. Any available bachelor."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Now don't exaggerate Forehead, I'd never stoop so low as to see Neji or Naruto that way." Regardless of how attractive they may be, there was girl code to uphold, of course. "But enough about me. How about we start with Hinata next?" She nudged the Hyuga heiress in the rib with her elbow, making her jump, clearly startled and flustered.

"I-I-I pass..." she proclaimed lowly, but Ino merely frowned in response.

"Oh no you don't, I won't allow it." the blonde shook her head. "If you can't survive this round you won't survive any of the other ones." Ino proclaimed stubbornly. "Besides, this isn't even that bad. We all already know the answer anyway. Who are you being bashful for?" Ino rolled her eyes. If the heiress had ever had a wild fantasy, which would be surprising enough as it is, it would be with one person, and one person only, and everyone in the village except for that person knew it.

Hinata frowned, and the silence grew, her face consequently becoming redder and redder until she finally spoke. "N-N-Naruto-kun, once... w-w-well, s-sort of." she began to play with her fingers in the same fashion she used to do when she was a Genin -a nervous trait which had never truly gone away over the years. "I-I woke up with a nosebleed b-before anything... ahh, _h-h-happened."_ she implied, burying her head into the sleeves of her sweater.

The three remaining girls chuckled -how typical of the ever so innocent and sweet Hinata. "I can't say I'm at all surprised, at least." Ino sighed. "And you, TenTen?" Ino moved on to her next target, the kunoichi responding with a small sigh as she leaned into her chair.

"Well there's no denying it then. I can remember three distinct times with Neji." truth be told, she could still remember it, clear as day, why it had happened too. "The first time was when I accidentally walked in on him half naked in the bathroom during a mission with Lee and Gai-sensei." This had perhaps been the first time she had seen him look so irresistible, his hair smooth and wet, its silky tendrils clinging on to his shoulder -his chest had been chiseled to perfection, the gleam of the water only making it look that much more attractive.

"I could see why it would happen." Ino scoffed. It was no secret that Neji had the most muscular build out of anyone in their friend group -the elder males were an exception of course, but out of the Konoha 12, he was by far the most built.

"And the other times?" Sakura inquired hesitantly. Because even though she was curious, she didn't want to over step any boundaries.

"The second time was when I had attended a formal dinner party at the Hyugas'. He had been formally dressed, and- well, the rest speaks for itself, really. Have you ever seen Neji in a tux?" TenTen could have purred at the mental image once more being procured by her memories. Hinata merely nodded, as if knowing the instance which TenTen spoke of -but of course she did, she had been there, and had smiled hesitantly as TenTen proceeded to gawk at her elder cousin from afar, he too preoccupied with Hizashi with other matters, and she having to keep a close eye on Lee in case he found the bar.

"And of the third?" Ino grinned.

TenTen blushed slightly. "This was actually -umm, really recent, all things considered." In fact, it had been a mere month ago, and the dream still haunted her at least twice a week. "We were on our way to Taki for a mission. Halfway to our destination, Lee accidentally dropped my travelling pack in the river, washing away all of my clothes and my sleeping bag and tent on top of that. He offered a spare jumpsuit to me and said I could sleep in his tent, but of course I declined." she cringed at the thought of having to, once more, wear that ridiculous green jumpsuit. "Neji had let me borrow his clothes, but halfway through the night it had began to rain. He had invited me into his tent and well... yeah." TenTen frowned. Truth be told, the mere act of kindness of allowing her to borrow his clothes -and sleep alongside him, for Kami's sake, had set her heart on fire and ignited the deepest desires within the kunoichi -but he was oblivious to anything and everything, and after all was said and done he thought nothing of their sleeping arrangement, because she was a teammate, had been for several years now, and this was the least he could do for a friend.

Sakura and Ino both frowned. Sometimes, it seemed like Neji could beat Naruto in terms of how oblivious they were. "I'm sorry TenTen." they lamented their friend's misfortune.

She nodded in understanding, her eyes shifting to Sakura. "Never mind me; as far as I know, this was all a given for all of us. I'm more curious about your response, Sakura." TenTen inquired, a small, amused glint in her eyes. Truth be told, Sakura was pretty privy to such information, and in recent times she seemed too preoccupied with shinobi duties to spare boys the time of day -so if there was any boy in particular that had sparked Sakura's interest? Well then god damn it, she wanted to know.

Almost instantly Sakura's cheeks lit up, although not nearly as bad as Hinata's. She parted her lips to speak, hesitated, and then promptly closed it once more, contemplating whether Ino would allow her to skip on this one too. Nevertheless, they had all done it, and she would not be the only one to back down. "Kakashi-sensei once-"

"Okay, how are you going to be disgusted with _me?"_ Ino cut her off nearly immediately, a delicate eyebrow raised to judge Sakura and her complete over-reaction at Ino's admittance.

"Shut up Pig, I see him more than you, alright?" she proclaimed. She had been on enough missions with the nin, some duo missions because Naruto and Sasuke were unavailable, and he was the least socially acceptable person she knew. He didn't care that he was reading porn out in the open, and as far as what was proper to do and what given time to do it, he either didn't know or simply didn't care. The pink haired kunoichi huffed indignantly and leaned back onto her chair, her eyebrows furling in irritation at Ino's pointed look. "What? I have to explain what happened too?"

"Well I mean, it's only fair. Everyone else had a back story." Ino reasoned.

"Yours didn't." Sakura countered with a frown.

"Well yeah, but that's because there's no context to my dreams -if they're attractive that's usually enough." Ino chuckled slightly. "Knowing you, something must have happened for you to have had naughty dreams about perverted Kakashi-sensei over there." And as she spoke she inclined her head to the other side of the room, indicating to one particular silver-haired shinobi currently conversing with Jiraiya and Tsunade, a drink in each of their hands. Almost as if sensing that he was the topic of conversation, he turned to stare straight at the group of kunoichi (which had made Sakura instantly tense, mind you), before he lifted his glass in a sort of toast, his eyes crinkled to indicate one of his ever so fake smiles.

Sakura turned away to avoid the blush she was sure would appear on her face any second now, and conceded with a small sigh. "Alright, fine. This one time, on a mission with Naruto and Sasuke-kun, we ended up sharing a hotel room together; Sasuke-kun and Naruto were just down the hallway. He had looked particularly engrossed with his damned Icha Icha Paradise that night, more than before, and once I had emerged from the shower he had gone in -he had left the book open at one particular page-"

"Oh my Kami, Sakura did you read his porn?" TenTen nearly wanted to burst out in laughter, her comment a mere exasperated whisper as her eyes scanned the crowds, wondering if Kakashi somehow knew they were talking about him.

"I only read like two pages!" Sakura's cheeks were inflamed, as if this alone would plead her case. "And then I got to thinking, _this_ is what he reads all the time, and then I got to wondering what it was he was doing in the shower, and if he was doing anything inappropriate, it only made me wonder who he was thinking of when... you know," Sakura's eyebrows squirmed suggestively, "and then he emerged clad in nothing but his slacks and of course his mask-" Truth be told, it was already over. Her dreams had been haunted that night by Kakashi and all of the perverse things he was probably into, given the mature content he read on a daily basis, whether she liked it or not, and the morning of she could barely stand to look at Kakashi in the face. "I had begged to switch rooms with Naruto, and Naruto had at first thought that I was trying to get it on with Sasuke-kun." Sakura sighed with a small frown. "After telling him I didn't want to share rooms with Kakashi-sensei, he proceeded to interrogate me and ask if Kakashi-sensei had tried to harass me in my sleep."

Ino snorted -she couldn't help it. "And knowing Naruto he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut." she predicted, ever so accurate with her assumption.

Sakura shook her head in dismay. "Some awkward questioning ensued -of course Naruto seemed the least bit oblivious, but after asking what he had done last night to not make me want to share a room with him, he seemed to somehow... I don't know, just... _know_." Sakura shivered. "To this day, I will never forget the creepy glint that Kakashi-sensei had gotten in his eyes, or of course, his response to Naruto's statement."

TenTen raised an eyebrow. "Which was?" she questioned, genuinely curious -and she thought her tale had been amusing, but this was just pure gold.

Sakura sighed, yet again, and cleared her throat, getting ready to imitate Kakashi word for word.

 _"I guess she didn't like trying the handcuffs, Naruto. Gomen."_

Hinata flushed red -Ino gawked, and TenTen leaned back into her chair, holding on to her stomach as she erupted in laughter. And meanwhile there Sakura sat, her face red, looking down in a sulking manner. "And that's not even the worst part." She added with much apprehension.

"Oh my Kami it gets better?"

Sakura scowled, ignoring TenTen's comment, but deciding to conclude her tale anyhow. "It had conveniently been sarcastic enough to make Naruto drop the whole topic, but I knew otherwise, because that very topic had been on the two and a half pages I had read on his god forsake book -and from the horrified reaction I'm sure I had had from his statement, I just _know_ that he knew that I had most definitely read it. I swear he was testing me."

"Wow..." Ino blinked, amazed at the tale. Truth be told, if he wasn't their sensei, Ino would not hold it against Sakura if she tried to pursue something with him -physical or anything else. He was by far one of the most attractive older men Ino knew, next to Genma of course. "Has he ever... I don't know... brought it up?" Ino did a funny thing with her eyebrows, as if insinuating that Sakura could totally do something with her sensei and he'd be unabashedly down.

"Kami no." Sakura made a horrified expression. "It's like he forgot the whole thing even happened. It was relatively easy for things to go back to normal since then -although I haven't shared a room with him since..." Sakura fidgeted slightly.

Ino laughed -oh, he had most definitely not forgotten the whole thing, not that she would bother to embarrass her friend right now. "And other than Kakashi? Let me guess, Sasuke?"

Sakura scoffed. "Of course Sasuke-kun -always Sasuke-kun. Too many times to count up until I was sixteen and promptly got a inkling of self-esteem. But as of late, nothing has really caught my eye." Although this could in part be due to her being constantly busy, either at the hospital, on missions, or her recent studying for the ANBU exams.

"Figures you wouldn't be any fun at our prime." Ino rolled her eyes. "But I guess that's all rather irrelevant. Round one is officially over." And as she said this she began to look through her purse until she pulled out a pen. Grabbing onto a miscellaneous napkin on the table, she began to scribble down each of their names and proceeded to place one tally mark next to each of them, just as TenTen took the list from in front of her and looked at the next number on the list.

"Oh, this one's worth two points." TenTen pointed out, slightly surprised.

"W-With good r-reason." Hinata frowned.

Curiously, Sakura reached over for the folded paper just as Ino finished writing on the napkin. "Number two: Pour a drink on someone of the opposite sex - 2 Points." Sakura proceeded to frown almost immediately. "Why does it have to be of the opposite sex?"

"Because it's not fun otherwise, Forehead." Ino rolled her eyes, swiveling in her chair to stare curiously at the group of Konoha 12, still huddled around the same table across the room. "Besides, girls would all just get catty." And this was something that Sakura could not entirely deny, so she sat in silence, observing as Ino kept staring at their Konoha 12 male counterparts, as if she was choosing her target -which in all honesty she was. "Oh, I forgot to mention that the person that goes first in the round prior cannot go first in the round that follows, in case you guys want to be little babies again."

"What?" TenTen scowled. "I didn't see that on the paper. Since when has that been a thing?" she countered.

Ino snickered. "Since now; house rules."

Sakura was about to open her mouth to protest, but decided to drop it with a small glare. There was no winning with Ino, unfortunately, and as such she wouldn't even give the Pig the time of day or the satisfaction.

But as she looked up to face her blonde haired companion, she couldn't help but notice someone watching her, someone all the way across the room somewhere behind Ino's general direction.

 _Kakashi-sensei_

Had he not looked away since Sakura had began her story? She definitely didn't know, but she definitely didn't want to think about it, lest it make her get all pink and-

Well crap, it was already too late.

She smiled slightly at her sensei, who seemed to return this smile with his own.

-But that glint was back in his eyes, a glint she had only ever seen when he had most definitely caught her reading his porn, and _'Oh my Kami he knows.'_ Sakura wanted to internally smack herself -for Kami's sake his contracts were nin-dogs, of course the bastard would have insane hearing as well...!

So what was he thinking now that he knew that Sakura told her best friends the story?

Sakura could have fainted at the thought.

 **End of chapter**

 **So I know it's taken me a long time to come out with this (or anything else, for that matter), but I just wanted to indicate to you all that I am still alive and am still working on updating everything, it's just been taking me a while.**

 **Hope you guys all enjoy it, and for those of you concerned about the pairings -whether, like its sequel, this will be an Ita x Saku, Ino x Shisui, it won't be, although it will allude to their meeting. This is entirely crack-pairings with whomever and whatever feels right at the time.**

 **Drop a review and tell me all what you guys thought? I promise it won't take me nearly as long to post something else up**

 **-MarzSpy**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! I know its been a while and I apologize for that, but I hope that the humor in this chapter makes up for it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters in any way, shape, or form.**

 **Chapter 3.**

 _Number two: Pour a drink on someone of the opposite sex - 2 Points._

The issue was not that there wasn't anybody to pour it on -for Kami's sake they were at a party with literal dozens of men they could pour said drink on. No, the problem here lay in how to get away with it without arising suspicion and without getting in any sort of trouble for it, of course.

Which meant that whoever they did decide to pour drinks on, could not just be a random stranger -no they had to know the person, because otherwise Sakura had a feeling they would not get away with it so easily.

Out of pity towards Hinata and TenTen, Sakura had of course valiantly offered to go first, and as such had allowed her eyes to roam around the room, until they finally settled for one particular man. Sighing and muttering a quick "Have I ever told you I hate you, Pig?" Sakura stood, filling her cup with a random alcoholic beverage on their table. She turned to her female companions for a few seconds, a nervous smile on her face. "Wish me luck."

In response, all three girls gave Sakura either a thumbs up or a reassuring smile, and watched as Sakura sauntered off into the crowd of people, their eyes following her to her destination.

TenTen could have snorted as she eyed Sakura's victim. "Wait -she's can't serious."

Ino's eyes lit up with amusement and pride -yep, that was her forehead girl, going in for the kill. "Oh, she totally is." and with that last statement, the girls watched on in morbid curiosity as the scene before them unfolded.

* * *

 _'Alright Sakura, this is easy. You've been angry before.'_ Sakura gave herself a pep-talk, eyeing her victim -I mean her... no, yeah, her victim, cautiously.

She had waited cautiously until he had separated himself from the pack, to get himself a beverage it seemed, before she herself had left her group of gals to follow him casually.

As such, Sakura had conveniently bumped into him on his way back to his group of friends, Sakura turning with a look of wide-eyed shock, as if she hadn't seen him there. "Oh! Sasuke-kun! Gomen, I didn't see you there." she giggled out with a toothy grin.

Sasuke eyed the kunoichi precariously, his eyes spotting at first her tinted cheeks, and then the cup in her hand -which had alcohol, he could smell both from her breath and from the smell exuding from the cup. "Isn't it a little too early to be getting drunk, Sakura?" he instead asked with a clipped tone. Not that he genuinely cared all that much -she was just a hassle to deal with when drunk, and seeing as this was his home, he knew it would consequently be his responsibility to make sure she didn't bring his home tumbling down.

But in response, Sakura merely frowned. "I am not drunk, Sasuke-kun." she instead stated, clearly displeased. "I'm offended you think so little of me." she instead offered, her empty hand going to her hips.

Sasuke could have rolled his eyes -that's exactly what a not sober Sakura would say, but he would bite his tongue on the matter. "Let's get you home before you do something we'll all regret in the morning." as he spoke, he reached his hand out to latch onto her elbow, but Sakura clearly had other plans, nearly as quickly withdrawing from his grasp.

"What is that supposed to mean, _Sasuke?"_ she instead inquired with narrowed eyes. "You think I can't handle myself?"

It was a trap, of course, because she knew Sasuke would not lie, and was too prideful to admit yes, he did in fact care if his teammate was completely inebriated, because he knew what equally inebriated men would want, and he did not have the patience nor the desire to swat off potential assailants from his teammate. "No, I don't." he instead stated without batting an eyelash.

"You know Sasuke, you can really be a jerk sometimes. Kami I don't even understand how I fell for you in the first place." As she stated this, she allowed her drink to be hurled forward -of course completely intentionally, huffing her chest, although internally dying of laughter, as Sasuke's face was suddenly assaulted with liquid, his eyes closing shut, lest he get alcohol in his eyes.

But afterwards, he simply stared at Sakura incredulously, as if in disbelief -Holy crap she had actually just thrown her drink at him without little to no thought! Without a moment's notice, Sakura turned on her heel and began stalking away, muttering something about "Wait til the girls hear _this!"_

But of course, he did not know of the double meaning behind her words, for as she turned on her heel she had the most pleased facial expression on her face, staring straight at Ino in a _'I so own you'_ sort of way.

Ino seemed impressed, giving her pink haired kunoichi a thumbs up, and then turning to the napkin before her to adjust Sakura's score accordingly. "Alright girls, who's up?" Ino turned expectantly towards Hinata and TenTen, who both looked hesitantly around them, as if looking for ways to complete this challenge with a feasible reasoning like Sakura's had.

It seemed like TenTen was the first to spot something she could make use of though, her eyes getting a bright glint in them, before she stood with a confident grin. "Alright, I'll go." And as she said this, Sakura once more returned to their table with a toothy grin.

"Don't ask me why, but there was something absolutely exhilarating about pouring a drink of Sasuke-kun."

Ino shrugged. "Probably because he deserves to have a drink poured on him." Ino snickered, but silenced herself if only to look at TenTen, who just as casually made her way over to the guys table, where Sasuke had just returned.

* * *

"Hey Sasuke-tem- what the hell happened to you." Naruto looked confused, staring up and down at Sasuke, who had the most displeased, irritated grimace on this face.

Sasuke glared. "Sakura happened."

But before Naruto could ask him to elaborate on this, their attentions were shifted elsewhere. "Alright, place your bets boys."

Sasuke groaned. "Seriously?"

Naruto frowned, as if offended that Sasuke was basically looking at them all like they were children, before he turned on his seat and shifted his attention to Chouji and Lee, both leaning forward on a table, elbows propped up.

"I put my money on Lee." Naruto stated confidently, knowing that between Lee's outrageous training exercises and his natural strength, that he should be able to defeat Chouji in an arm wrestling match with ease.

Shikamaru merely chuckled. "No way -I'm counting on you Chouji." he grunted on, sitting alongside Chouji, hands behind his head in a casual manner.

And it was around this time that suddenly another person, apart from the male Rookie 12 surrounding the table, that came into view, the female counterpart to Lee. "What's going on here?" she greeted with a small smile, until her eyes landed on Sasuke. "Actually, first off, what happened to you?"

Sasuke groaned, yet again. "Don't ask."

But Lee seemed delighted to have earned the attention of his female teammate, a bright grin on his features. "Chouji and I are about to compete in a most useful match of arm wrestling."

"Alright alright, enough talk, let's get this show on the road." Kiba grinned. "And I challenge the victor, of course." he added as an afterthought. Chouji and Lee nodded, staring at each other heatedly, before grabbing onto each other's hands, waiting for Kiba to give them the go-head to start. "On your marks, get set... _go!"_

Consequently, they began their match, and after several minutes of going back and worth, it finally seemed like Chouji was getting the upper hand.

TenTen nodded in understanding. "Come on Lee, I know you can do it!" TenTen cheered on her teammate, although internally she couldn't help but smirk in satisfaction, "-ohhey, look, Sakura's watching too."

And almost as if this alone had ignited the man's innermost fire (perhaps literally, because TenTen swore she saw a fire appear in his eyes), he suddenly shouted a war cry and began to regain his ground, scarying Chouji as he gripped the poor man's hand tightly.

Needless to say, within the next thirty seconds, Lee had successfully subdued Chouji in battle, and with another victory cry, stood proudly to look at Sakura's direction brazenly. "MY SWEET CHERRY BLOSSOM! DID YOU SEE MY AMAZING DISPLAY OF STRENGTH?! OH, HOW MY YOUTH DOTH SHINE TONIGHT!" And almost as if for added emphasis, which he clearly did not think through, he gripped onto the fabric at his chest -his very own green jumpsuit, and ripped it right in half, as if to further show off his mighty muscles to his one and only Sakura-

But in an instant TenTen had thrown her cup -of water, it seemed, right onto Lee's body, a small glare on her features. "Lee, must you always make such a scene? You need to cool down." she frowned, an agitated look on her face.

But Lee seemed not the least bit affected. "Oooh! Good idea TenTen! Now my muscles are glistening for Sakura's viewing pleasure!" he winked in appreciation, showing TenTen a thumbs up, but as he turned to once more face his cherry blossom, he found that she was not at all looking at his direction -in fact, her eyes seemed to be glued across the room, having a heated staring contest with her sensei.

With a defeated frown and a sigh, he crumpled down to his seat once more. "Why won't Sakura just notice me?"

Naruto sighed, nodding as he placed a comforting hand on Lee's shoulder. "I ask myself that all the time, Lee. This teme here is the only one who's ever been lucky enough to be the object of her affections, and he didn't even appreciate it."

"T-T-TenTen! I-I-Ino is c-calling you." suddenly another figure appeared, another woman, although she was not at all a stranger to any of them.

TenTen turned to stare at Hinata warily, noticing that she too had a cup in her hand -was this her attempt at trying to complete the dare? But she would not sabotage the kunoichi, and as such she played along coolly. "Ah. Arigatou, Hinata." she thanked the heiress with a small smile.

"N-N-N-No problem." her face was read, as it always was when around Naruto, although he simply believed her to always be in a perpetual feverish state. But as Hinata turned around to begin walking away, she had accidentally slipped on the water on the floor, courtesy of TenTen and Lee, and as such she went flying backward, her cup, most importantly leaving her hand and flying precariously to the side (although she herself had landed face first into TenTen's arms)-

-And straight into Sasuke's groin.

"..."

"..."

"..."

The silence stretched on for several seconds before the entirety of the group -Neji, Shikamaru, and even Shino, erupted in laughter.

"G-G-G-G-Gomen Sasuke!" Hinata shrieked uncharacteristically, her face even redder, for this had most definitely not been her intended target, and as she stood to bow profusely at the Uchiha, she could not help but notice even Ino and Sakura were bellowing with laughter from across the room. But at this, Ino also stood and began making her way towards the group of nin.

"My, my, it looks like you're having a fun time Sasuke." she snickered.

Sasuke turned to glare daggers at the blonde Yamanaka. "Shut it." he demanded, uncaring that this was heir to her clan -subsequently his equal.

"Yeah... no." Ino smiled in satisfaction.

With a fed up sigh and an exasperated run of his fingers through his wet hair, he turned around. "If you will all excuse me, I'm going to go change lest the other guests think I've soiled myself."

"Oh I think it's far too late for that, Sasuke." Ino snickered once more, indicating to Sasuke with a point of her finger to a group of women who were staring straight at Sasuke with an accusatory look and trying their best to subdue their laughter.

Sasuke grunted, defeated, but began to walk away nonetheless.

Ino laughed even louder. "Let us know if you need any help Sasuke -I know how when are with diapers." Oh my Kami taunting Sasuke was so _priceless...!_ Evenso, she turned her attention to Chouji who was still sitting on his seat, trying his best to subdue his laughter. "Nee, Chouji, I have a little challenge of my own for you."

Chouji almost immediately stopped laughing, knowing that if Ino wanted something, it was usually no good, and as such he frowned in trepidation.

But Ino merely laughed, dismissing his concern with a wave of her hand. "Oh nothing ridiculous, I promise." And as she said this, she made apparent the bottle of soda in her hand, which none had paid attention to up until she had pushed in forward. "Chugging contest, of course."

"A chugging contest? Count me in!" Naruto shouted in glee -he could perhaps not eat as much as Chouji, but he could definitely gulp down a soda.

"Oh, it's so own Naruto."

Ino grinned, clearly pleased. "Good. I'll get another bottle of soda for you too then, Naruto." As such, she turned around and hurriedly went to grab another soda, returning within the next minute to see Chouji and Naruto staring at each other heatedly.

With a sweat-drop, TenTen had obliged Ino in helping her, as Naruto and Chouji situated themselves back to back on their seats, their heads facing directly upwards -and there Ino stood, her hand hovering directly over Chouji, and TenTen doing the same with Naruto, a bottle of soda in both of their hands.

"Ready... set... _go_!"

* * *

"Ino that was cheating and you know it." Sakura scowled, clearly dissatisfied with the way their round had ended -while she, TenTen, and Hinata had actually embarrassed themselves with committing to the dare, Ino had gotten herself off easy by making Chouji chug a bottle of soda, and it was entirely not fair.

Ino seemed not at all concerned, as she began to add points to her name, as well as Hinata's and TenTen's. "I technically poured it on him, Sakura. He simply caught it with his mouth."

"Yeah, by no mere coincidence." Sakura scowled.

"Hey." Ino turned to face Sakura with a frown. "It's not my fault you weren't thinking mart, Forehead. Come on, there is always more than one way around a challenge, I'm sure even you know that, Mrs. I'm-studying-for-the-ANBU-exams. If you couldn't even find a simple solution to this how do you ever hope to pass?" she taunted hautily.

Sakura's glare deepened once more, although, upon realizing it had no effect on the Pig, she turned to try to appeal to both Hinata and TenTen. "Come on, you can't seriously think that counts, right?" she frowned.

Hinata and TenTen hesitated. "I mean, Ino is technically right, Sakura. Just because we don't like it and we had to do it in a more challenging way, does not make it any less a right way of doing it." TenTen reasoned with a small shrug. "Plus, it's still early on in the game anyway. It's not like this'll mean much in the long run, right?" TenTen asked, staring at Ino.

"No, probably not; these are just two points."

Sakura sighed, clearly defeated. "Fine. Whatever." she hmmph'd defiantly. "Let's move on so Ino can cheat her way through the next round."

"Alright, alright, but before we do that, can we just please go back and talk about how Hinata soiled Sasuke's pants?" she whispered the last part, almost as if, for speaking it any louder, Sasuke would know and begin to attack her.

And of course, at the mention, Hinata once more grew red, but the other girls began to laugh hysterically once more. "Definitely the MVP for this round." TenTen admitted with a grin.

"Definitely the best thing I've witnessed all year long." Sakura affirmed vehemently.

Hinata giggled hesitantly. "T-Truth be told, I-I was aiming for Lee, hoping that he wouldn't care because he was already wet." as she spoke, she played with her fingers nervously. "But in between my pretending, I actually did genuinely slip, so..." her sentence trailed off.

Ino couldn't help but laugh. "Hinata you devious plotter." Nevertheless, this had concluded their second round, all were still even in points, and it was time to finally begin to take the lead. "Anyway, let's move on to the next number on the list."

The remaining three girls nodded in affirmation, scooting closer to Ino so that they could stare at the paper as she begin to read the next item out loud. "Number three. This one is worth two or three points, depending on which you do." Ino began to explain. "You could either: A, smack the butt cheek of a member of the opposite sex for two points, or B, squeeze it for three."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Ino chuckled, putting the piece of paper back on the table and looking at her three friends. "Alright, so who wants to go first?" even though she said this as nonchalantly as she could muster, all the girls could hear her laughter bubbling out of her.

"Ino, what the hell did you get us into?!"

* * *

 **End of Chapter**

 **So, I hope you guys all enjoy this! I was not originally planning on having Sasuke be the unfortunate soul, but it seemed funnier this way. Let me know what you all thought? xD This chapter is a wee bit shorter than the other ones but I think I'm going to break these chapters up in segments based on one dare/item on the list per chapter instead of fitting two, just because it seems to flow better this way.**

 **Any and all feedback is much appreciated!**

 **-MarzSpy**

 **P.S. Sorry for any typos, I typed this up really fast and just wanted to publish it so I didn't keep you guys waiting any longer =]**


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